A few days ago, Andy told you all about the world’s largest cruise ship, and how it met its end before ever seeing water. It’s not the only massive cruise ship in the world, though — there are plenty that have made their way out onto the high seas.

Right, yeah, boats. Since that cruise ship is being destroyed and no longer counts, what are the biggest boats you can actually purchase a ticket to ride? Here are the top fifteen, because fifteen just seems like a nice, round number.

The Wonder of the Seas is the current Biggest Boat in the world. It’s actually even longer than the Global Dream II, measuring in at 362.10 m from bow to stern, and it’s very wide at 64.01 m. These are boat words, you see.

Royal Caribbean is really creative with its names. Everything is “of the Seas,” preceded by a seemingly random noun that sounds Nice. Yeah, I don’t get it either.

Hey guess what: It’s another Of The Seas. Royal Caribbean really likes big boats, apparently, like you all do.

Has the allure of these big boats drawn you in?

OK, how can you have an oasis in the sea? An oasis is a body of water in the desert, a watering hole of sorts. Seas, notably, have water. You see where I’m going with this.

Oh hey, this one’s not a Royal Caribbean Of The Seas! Instead, it’s both Europe and The World, which is admittedly how many people in the U.S. and Western Europe see the globe.

OK, wait, can we go back to the Of The Seas names? “Smerelda” feels bad, acrid, rolling off my tongue. “SMER” is just a bad combination of letters.

This is better, at least. Toscana, like Tuscany. That’s Italy, and Italy is good, so the boat is good.

This boat has a big British flag on the side, which means it should have all its sails at half-mast for the Queen’s death. But, it’s a motor boat, not a sailboat, so we move on.

Oh this is bad. This is very bad. I don’t like this at all. Take the lips off the boat please. TAKE THE LIPS AND EYES OFF THE BOAT PLEASE.

NO DON’T PUT THEM ON MORE BOATS. GET IT AWAY, NEXT SLIDE.

Oh thank god they’re back to normal. Just a regular name, on a regular boat, without any eyes or seas. This boat is the palate cleanser boat, and for that I thank it.

You ever notice how Carnival cruise ships have the same livery as Delta aircraft? Have you ever seen Delta and Carnival in the same place at the same time?

This boat is the Merovingian, that French guy from the second two Matrix movies who talks about determinism. He’s into weird food stuff, but cruise ships have a lot of food on them, so I guess it kinda fits.

Oh, what brand is this boat? It’s from Norway, and that’s all you need to know. Anything above that is privileged information.

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